I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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