I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
