Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I'm sobbing to NWA
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
