Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
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Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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