I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
