i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
