just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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