Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
In America we eat man semen.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
