clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
