Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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