But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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