the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
