It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize