Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
