Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
