East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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