I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize