Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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