I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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