I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
