You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Randomize
