guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
