Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
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