dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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