How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
