My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
