We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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