You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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