Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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