We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
