Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
