Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
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