I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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