Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
