summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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