It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Randomize
