i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
