he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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