Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
