You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
