its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
