Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
do nipples grow back?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
