just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
