You made me cry and you don't even care
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
