You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
