and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
