yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
