No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
