so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
