Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
