i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Randomize
