you didnt know i had herpes?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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