grandma shit on top of the toilet
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
