Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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