It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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