he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
