I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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