Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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