How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
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