im six kinds of drunk right now
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
we're so committed to being not committed
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
