I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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