ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
