Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
