He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
