i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
